I'm here to continue going after a dream I started chasing years ago. Before I knew I was actually chasing anything. Before a failed independent film back in Florida that brought me a relationship that I would come to love, then hate, then cherish above almost all. Before I ever knew I wanted to tell stories the rest of my life.
I guess I'm gonna catch you guys (all 6 of you) up on how I got to California and what I'm thankful for.
Day 1:
I left two days after my daughter's 9th birthday in August. I had three days to get from Polk County, Florida to Los Angeles. That was 2,529 miles in 72 hours.
Daunting? Absolutely.
Impossible? Nah. Just a Sunday drive ... and Monday ... and Tuesday.
Why only three days to cross the bottom of the United States? Promising job interviews to start my/our new life off right. I mean, I'm here to write but until that pays the bills, something has to.
After years of trying to get to California, years of talking about following dreams, a few false starts and blown chances and after a handful of heartbreaking & tearful goodbyes, we were on our way.
We.
Not my girls and I: I was heading out on my own to get things set up for us. It was only for a month. I'd arrive a few days before my birthday in August and the girls would follow me out in early September.
But I digress. We. Me, one half of The Make Believe Picture Company, and Fluffy.
Screw The Rules.
Madison lent me her favorite puppy to make the trip with me, so I wouldn't be lonely. So I decided if I was gonna have company, he was going to be a participant in this trip.
Not only was he the little stuffed dog that reminded me of what I was leaving for a month (and why it was so important to keep going no matter what), but he was my partner in crime, a reason to document where I was going and where I had been.
Day 1 was to go from Central Florida to Louisiana. Not a bad beginning leg, especially since I was gonna have a quick pit stop with one of my best friends in Alabama.
Fluffy and I roared down the back roads to the interstate in FL, sappy tunes blaring for about the first hour: oh, how we wore out The Scientist, Times Like These & Breathe Me (damn you Six Feet Under.)
Such as segregation.
Luckily throughout the trip, I had Amanda and Eric and a few others to talk to and the first day seemed to roll by pretty quickly and without issue. I was a little behind where I wanted to be and more tired than I had expected when I got to my friend Holly's driveway, but I had made it to Mobile.
Fluffy & Friends, only on the Double U Bee.
An hours worth of good talk, spaghetti and ribbing of horrible TV shows and Fluffy and I were off.
We left heading into a beautiful sunset. It was breathtaking and it really kind of clued me in that I was seeing some truly amazing things. It made me feel a little better about my first real night away from my girls if that makes sense.
Mobile. Day 1. Also, who knew they had a tunnel?
But, dear readers, as you can figure out, the sun may have set on day one, but I still had two states to go to be on track.
I made it into Mississippi before I totally lost the sun for the night. I was getting sleepier by the hour and was kicking my ass for not leaving a day sooner so I could've crashed with my friend.
All smiles, but he still couldn't spell it right on the first try.
Alas, I did NOT make it into the land of bayous and Swamp People. I called it a night in Diamondhead, MS and figured I would make up my lost time tomorrow.
DAY 2:
Plan was to go from the western end of MS to El Paso Texas.
We actually went: Diamondhead, MS to Fort Stockton, Texas: 889 miles.
MS to LA flew by and things were good, I was rested and renewed for the longest day of the trip.
Fluffy did NOT get to attack the pelican.
And honestly, LA to Texas went by faster than I thought. I saw some amazing looking scenery going from the flat lands of Florida and Alabama (it was dark, Mississippi just looked black) ... (racist) to the swamps and bayous of Louisiana.
Luckily a Cajun saved Fluffy before his untimely demise.
Texas was a different story. I was happy to get into it. I looked forward to crossing it. Eric had made this drive in 2009, so I knew that it wasn't all fun and games. I was warned that Texas was boring, to say the least. Regardless, I knew it was a state I was gonna have to blow through and because of their 80mph speed limit, that was exactly what I planned to do.
Use the Schwartz, Lone Star!
Shit really is bigger in Texas. And dumber.
I absolutely loathed Texas. From east to west, top to bottom. I hated it. I don't know if it was being in the car alone, sorry Fluffy, or if it was the fact that I had a thousand miles to go, but it was complete torture.
Nothing but smiles from Fluffy. Bastard.
Somewhere in Texas. Or Hell. Can't be sure.
San Antonio.
San Antonio was the one bright spot in Texas for me. I got off the interstate and circled the Alamo a few times before heading back into the wild frontier.
Day 2: Outside San Antonio
The landscape was starting to change, get mountainous as the sun went down and I was happy to see that. What I didn't realize is that, although I had been through tons of mountains as a kid, I had never driven them and at night.
It was brutal doing so. I was trying to stay up around 80mph but it was no use as the last half of Texas is up and down and apparently the deer there are hunted so hard that the safest place for them is literally ON the highway.
So many close calls with these idiotic beasts. I'm totally with Louis CK. At one point I wanted to place Fluffy on a dead one at a rest stop. Better sense and Amanda got through to me.
I was angry, tired, scared of demolishing my car on one of these creatures. And I still had six hours to go to get to El Paso.
Spoiler Alert. I didn't get there. It was the closest I think I'd ever come to experiencing cabin fever. I was breaking.
Unfortunately. there seems to be only about 4 towns in between those two cities. I stopped around 2am half way between San Antonio and El Paso and it wasn't pretty.
Screw Texas. It is now North Mexico to me. I'll X out a star on the flag if need be. I will indeed Mess with Texas.
Anyway, my hotel room was fine enough on the outside, but on the inside one bed was sticky, I was too tired to complain and I just went to the other, and as I found out in the morning, I was sleeping with a tiny scorpion/alien thing.
Documented proof.
A little bit of bitching about sticky beds, that I didn't cause, and a deadly bedtime beast to the Senorita at the La Quinta in BFE, Texas and I got my money back as Day 3 was beginning.
Day 3:
Fort Stockton, Texas to Los Angeles: 1,052 miles.
Last day, it had to be, I had an important job interview tomorrow at 9am. No dicking around, I HAD to be in LA at the end of the day.
Also, I woke up in some sort of awesome desert/mountain area. It looked like something out of Red Dead Redemption and almost all of John Wayne's movies.
As much as I hated Texas, I have to say I had somewhat of a spiritual experience listening to Mumford and Sons album while driving up, around and through these giant desert rocks.
North Mexican Mountains.
Like good Americans, Fluffy and I ran all the Indians off and took their stuff.
Mexico is scary.
Four hours of that and I was done with North Mexico forever.
Enchantment is a stretch but whatevs.
I'd like to say I enjoyed New Mexico but honestly I just enjoyed getting through it. It was just "eh" I was excited to be close to my destination and to be done with Texas. I couldn't believe I was only hours away from Los Angeles and my best friend.
A few hours more and we were into Arizona. The excitement was building.
This asshole's never-ending enthusiasm wasn't always infectious.
I really liked Arizona. More mountains. It stormed in the desert, both wind-storms (awesome) and thunderstorms and there were beautiful spots that I so look forward to visiting properly someday.
Windstorm. This was the middle of the day.
We busted ass and made it to Phoenix as the sun was going down on Day 3.
Another phenomenal sunset. Outside Phoenix.
California Love was locked and loaded as we crossed over the Colorado River and then into California.
Fluffy and I intelligently conversed about how I had been in the game ten years making rap tunes, ever since honey's was wearing Sassoon as we barreled up mountains, into valleys and finally into Los Angeles.
It was close to 2am as I pulled onto Hollywood Blvd and saw my friend, at his home, for the first time ever.
It was a moment, in a trip that was full of moments, that I'll never forget.
It was an end of one journey and the very beginning of another.
Day 106:
I thought, like many people I assume, that I would come out and L.A. would welcome me with open arms and thank me for blessing it with my genius. It hasn't. It's a fight. It's a struggle and you see that everyday in the people that this city, these industries, have chewed up and spit out.
It's a totally different world.
My girls didn't make it out in only a month. In fact, as I'm writing this, they still aren't here. That will change soon but not soon enough.
That job interview I rushed out for didn't work out, nor did the other twenty I went on from August to the end of September.
I was told time and time again that I had what it took to be at their respective companies and that people loved me (such a good fit) ... (That's what she said), but there was always somebody that edged me out. It was a pretty tough pill to swallow.
Until October where I found an amazing place to work. They cared for me, wanted me there and are genuinely good people. Everyday is a good day.
And now I'm just slowly logging time, waiting until Eric and I can make that big break happen and waiting on my girls to get here.
Both are coming soon. That's a fact.
Creatively, I don't think things have ever been better. Eric and I are in the midst of working on and developing lots of promising things for you guys and for the first time ever, I know that you'll get to see them. Maybe not as soon as I'd like but it'll happen.
I've also seen things and had experiences that have been life changing. Bittersweet but very important to me. I can't wait to share them with the girls as well.
Personally though, I had many more downs than ups in the first two months here. Lots of rejection, disappointment. I missed big moments in time, birthdays, anniversaries and time that I will never get to make up with my daughter.
There were nights were I was convinced I was gonna pack up and do the entire trip you just read in reverse. I was ready to give in. I was ready to go back to the known and the less-scary world I had grown up in.
But I didn't.
I didn't give in because I couldn't. I couldn't look my daughter in the eyes and tell her sometimes it's okay to give up, to not do what you think you can do. That's not a conversation that is in me.
And this brings me to my last point. This is the reason I wrote this blog this week to begin with.
Since it's Thanksgiving, I'd like to do some giving thanks of my own.
I'm thankful to have Madison in my life. She's the best thing that ever happened to me and the reason I want to be everything that I can be. Every night that I laid there thinking I was gonna take my ass back to Florida, I envisioned telling her why. And I couldn't. She will grow up in a place and with parents that will tell her and show her that anything is possible if you just keep trying.
I'm thankful for my wife, Amanda. Through thick and thin, great times and bad, she's been the one constant in my life. She's backed me and believed in me when no one else would, she chose to share her life with somebody who didn't want to settle for less and that's not an easy thing. There have been hard times, especially these last 4 months but we've always made it through and been better for it. Everything I do is for them.
I'm thankful to my best friend Eric and his fiancee Lauren. They took me in, gave me the opportunity to be here in the first place and honestly they were the first people who believed in me that didn't have to. They believe that I can accomplish what I think I can and they help every step of the way. I couldn't have done what I've done here and accomplished what I plan to accomplish in life without them.
And I'm thankful to all the friends and family that have offered encouragement, checked in on me, and that have helped shape me and pushed me to be what I want to be.
I hope everyone has a fantastic Thanksgiving. Safe and happy, celebrating with friends and family.
Be sure to let the people that are important to you know how important they are. That you are thankful that they are in your life.
Thanks for reading guys and dolls and now that we're caught up I'll try to stay on top of this better.
Fluffy and The City of Angels
